Week 8, you know the drill. Uptober is finally here and my body is ready. Hopefully price goes up and hopefully it brings some drama with it. I never would have imagined I’d be writing a lowbrow gossip newsletter in my free time, but life works in mysterious ways I guess. Onwards, to the “news” of the week!
Dumb Relaunches
I didn’t know anything about this project until I saw this post from Morty and then got a flurry of notifications from Tactical Retreat tweets. There’s nothing more entertaining than when Tac gets spiteful, so I did some research!
The backstory here is that Morty launched a coin called DAN not long ago. I don’t know what’s going on with the coin now, but he recently announced that he will be “relaunching” the token. Let me go on the record and say that perhaps the only thing worse than launching a token is relaunching a token (somebody screenshot this for when I relaunch $MANMANMAN). Here is the original token’s chart for the history records:
I’m not sure who this relaunch is intended to appeal to, but more power to you. The chain has not had much action recently so maybe the coin can have a moment. I welcome more opportunities to gamble.
Regardless, the funny part of this story is Tac’s relentless aggression towards Morty. It seemed to come out of nowhere, so I did some investigation in order to bring you guys the full story.
Apparently the start of this feud can be traced back to Blub Chat of all places. Morty was parroting the Cryptofish/Brando line that the devs (aka TR, VQ, and myself) botted our own launch of the Blub token. I don’t want to rehash that too much, but Cryptofish’s “evidence” was easily debunked and showed very little ability to think critically. It’s no wonder Brando (and Morty, apparently) ate it up.
Tac asked Morty to provide some proof to back up this claim. There is none, of course, so instead Morty just deflected repeatedly. Nothing gets Tac riled up more than a poor argument, so naturally he decided to fire back at Morty by making up some unsubstantiated claims of his own.
Tac took to the timeline to tell people what a scammer Morty was. This worked spectacularly, as Morty was either unwilling or unable to see the irony.
Needless to say, it’s clear that his trolling had the intended effect. Morty STILL doesn’t understand what is happening and continues to take the rage bait. I feel a bit bad because he clearly doesn’t have the tools for this fight and is trying to do something with his coin. But like with Ghost in last week’s article, he brought this upon himself by launching a coin and then attacking others. Best of luck with the $DUMB launch!
Blaze Presale Closes
The Blaze presale closed and it raised just over 1.3 MILLION dollars! Kind of an insane amount. To put this into perspective, Wink/Blub raised closer to 500k each. I used my max allocation (a measly $2k) but really only because of boredom. There’s not much to do on chain right now so I figured why not. Let’s look at some numbers!
I know, I know, it’s scary. Math! Don’t worry, papa is here to help you make sense of it all. I will try to go slow, bear with me. I’ll put lots of paragraph breaks so I don’t lose you.
First thing to note is that everything except the liquidity and presale tokens will be locked on launch, meaning the launch market capitalization will only be 15% of FDV. More math!
Salvor says it’s launching at 15M FDV, which is high, but then you remember that it will only be 2.25M market cap (note: on the presale page it says it’s launching at 15M FDV / 1.5M mcap. I think this must be a mistake, but also I’m an idiot so who knows).
That’s a lot of numbers, let’s break it down. It’s launching at 2.25M, and the presalers are getting in slightly below that at 1.8M. That seems fairly reasonable for a big AVAX launch, although still higher than most.
That being said, for these numbers to all work out, it means they would be pairing the $BLAZE with about $750k of liquidity—that’s a thicc, beefy boy.
Another thing to note is that a whopping 657 people contributed to the presale! Did you know that we had 657 people on this chain? I’m still skeptical of this number.
More numbers! Sorry!
One thing that’s interesting is that about half the supply is going to people who contributed $10k or more already. What does this mean for buy pressure on launch? Will those people be buying more? They’re “Salvor super fans” so it’s impossible to predict.
Anecdotally, most of the people I know are in the 500-2k range. Will they be buying more? I also don’t know! I’m excited to watch the launch and write about it next week.
I still don’t understand why it needs an L1 (or 19 different twitter accounts), but this is true of every app so I’ll go easy on that. I also have yet to see a web3 product that truly outperforms (or even matches) a web2 product, but I look forward to being pleasantly surprised.
That’s all I’ve got for this week! Not a ton to work with here, please make more drama for me next week. Hopefully Blaze launch fails spectacularly or something so I have more to write about (I kid, I kid) ((kinda)).
Tweet of the Week
SLUETH NEWS SLAPS
Nice math today (kinda)!